A Stag Do Thread...

[jimmbob]

...A place to share manly stories about stag weekends perhaps?
I'm going on a stag do in June, we're all off to Dublin. I've never been before so have no idea where (The strip joints) anything is. We're staying in Temple Bar, and we have a trip to the Guinness thingy.
Anybody recommend any bars, clubs (Strip or otherwise!?) or things to do?

Also feel free to post your stories of debauchery, vomit, and general laddishness.

[babs]

My best man ended up more wasted than me on my stag day, and ended up making love to a childs' plastic horse toy outside an arcade in front of a huge crowd of people waiting to use the cashpoint, proudly exclaiming 'It's male!' whilst giving it a reacharound.

'Twas a good night

[jimmbob]

Now these are the sorts of stories I wanna hear!


I'm the best man on this occasion, and I'm slightly put out that I'm the one who is expected to be sensible. But no doubt that will all be forgotten once we get on the boat. A group of lads away from home for a weekend is bound to be a laugh whether you're blind drunk or not.

[gunrock]

You should have search on here for the stag night suggestions thread, boy! was that a pit of filth.

I remember something about someone suggesting you put a rubber filled with floury-water solution up the grooms backside once he conked out.

[jimmbob]

I did search but nothing came up. I think it may have been deleted in the "Big Off Topic Cull of 07".
A floury solution up the arse you say?
Hmm, not sure I want anything to do with the stags rear end. But after a few bevvies you never know!

[Big Seany]

The trick is to make sure you poke the dunky right up his arsehole. Then when he wakes up in the morning he will think he has been anally raped! Brilliant fun, with psychosexual trauma for years to come.

[Swallow]

You should have search on here for the stag night suggestions thread, boy! was that a pit of filth.

I remember something about someone suggesting you put a rubber filled with floury-water solution up the grooms backside once he conked out.

Or, alternatively:

http://www.rllmukforum.com/index.php?showtopic=154982&st=0

[jimmbob]

That thread is the stuff of legends.

I like the idea of the spoons game, where you each put a spoon in your mouth, then take it in turns to hit each other on the head with said spoon. What the stag doesn't know is that someone's behind him with a big **** off ladle, who, on your behalf whacks the poor sod with it.
Trouble is my mates are probably too dumb to pull it off.
Post Pranks please, otherwise Jonny up the rear it is then.

[gunrock]

The trick is to make sure you poke the dunky right up his arsehole. Then when he wakes up in the morning he will think he has been anally raped! Brilliant fun, with psychosexual trauma for years to come.

Yeah, that was the gist of that thread, I can't remember who it was who posted, but someone replied something like "jesus, you should seriously think of working in the torture profession".

[Big Seany]

My favourite post in that thread:

Last night you ****ed and came inside your friend of the same gender.

[m@]

My Stag do was in Bratislava. On day two I was aware that the best man had booked me go mud wresting. Knowing what this involved I decide to pop down to the hotel bar on my own and down as much whisky and coke as possible within 30 minutes, Dutch courage has always been a great help to me. 25 minutes into this lonesome session I started to get the old burning sensation in my chest and realised this was onset of indigestion. Queue one of the lads walking into the bar and me explaining my stomach predicament. No problem said he, I get it all the time, I’ll pop up to my room and get you one of my tablets, there from the doctors and very good.

5 minutes later back he came slid the capsule onto the bar whereupon I picked it up and knock it back with half a glass of whiskey and coke. Anyway the coach terns up me and the 15 or so other party members board and off we go to my date with 4 naked girls and a pool of mud. Quite settled on the fact that this id my stag prank, to be stripped naked and have to fight 4 naked girls. No bad thing if only the lads weren’t going to be there! With my fate sealed and a large amount of whiskey swilling round my gut I had succumb to whatever may happen.

So we arrive at a bar on the outskirts of town, a large paddling pool set up in the middle with the mud inside! Nervousness creeping over me as I drank a pint and then another with the knowledge of what was about to ensue.

Out come the girls, and very nice a pert they all were. In the pool they go, and start doing the lesbo thing. I’m beginning to think that if they keep doing that id be more than happy. But then all eyes are on me, it’s my time. Over they come, without a thought about my laundry bill, grubby mitts all over me. T-shirt, trousers, socks and shoes off in seconds. But I managed to retain my pants and jump in the mud. I turn round to give my mates the thumbs up as the girls rip off my pants. Low and behold all bar 2-3 of them are viewing the muddy spectacle through the view finders of their cameras and mobile phones B*rstards.

I enjoyed this time it was one of the best moments in my life! 4 beautiful women throwing me round the place, using my back as a slide, straddling me legs either side of my head. The odd grope from me getting through to the week points that every wannabe pro mud wrestle knows about! One on each ankle one each wrist as they move me to and fro. Hang on! Something s up, your enjoying this a tad to much Matty boy. You only 2 minutes into a 10 minute bout and your old boy is on the verge of standing to attention.
I battle on as one must when faced with adversary and as the end approaches look down at the old boy, my god he’s looking good! It’s not about to poke anyone’s eye out but it’s certainly looking good. It’s at this point that I look out to the viewing masses (15 or so) who are now in shrieks of laughter. Where upon a certain Mr Nick Pavey informs me that said indigestion capsule was in fact a capsule filed with Viagra…

F*ckers. God dam Mother F*ckers!

But what can you do!!

All day they had been trying to spike me but couldn’t manage and then I gave them the perfect chance!
I thank the lads for this experience, I truly do. I thank the 4 girls for making me into a slide and the generous comments they made. Unfortunately 4 hours later I was back to normal. However I will always have a glowing feeling whenever I see muddy bird.

Future stags be on your guard it aint over till your up the isle.

[babs]

priceless

[jimmbob]

Amazing.

[Senna]

Best post *ever*

[Pavey]

How we laughed......

I battle on as one must when faced with adversary and as the end approaches look down at the old boy, my god he?s looking good!

Hmmm......don't seem to remember that though